Grab a cup of tea, coffee, maybe even a bagel, oatmeal, a scone… whatever tickles your fancy friends, and let’s chat.
Today marks two weeks, three days of no running… and counting. I went to the Doctor yesterday to see where I am at currently with my “issue” and where I am heading. I walked into the doctor’s office a little early so I spent that time catching up on some of my favorite blogs- but even that couldn’t distract me. I swear the worst doctor’s office to sit in and wait is the one who will be telling you whether or not you can run any time soon.
I got called in and the nurse began asking me questions-
“What percentage would you give it in terms of feeling better?”
“50%, let’s just say it doesn’t hurt to put pants on so that’s a plus.”
“How about the medication, are you still using it?”
“I stopped after the fifth day. I didn’t see any changes when I used it and I don’t believe in putting drugs in my body for no reason.”
“You didn’t feel any different?
“Nope, and I never take medicine so you’d think it’d hit me like a glass of wine to someone who never drinks, but I felt nothing.”
She left and shortly after Doc came in. He doesn’t really go by Doc but he reminds me of someone who would so that is what we’re going to call him.
“How’s it going? How are you feeling?”
“I feel better, still not great but I can put pants on now..not that I want to, but I can.”
“Pants are overrated anyways.” <– see why I go to him? “Lay down on your back and let me check things out.”
A few leg movements, a flip onto my stomach, some pushing on my hamstring, some pulling on the leg….
And there it is…. the moment that I knew exactly what he was going to tell me. Apparently I am at a vulnerable state in my injury- I feel slightly better than I did two-three weeks ago so it is natural for us/me/runners to want to jump back out there and give a five miler a go…. but that typically leads to the injured runner hobbling back into Doc’s office with a popped hamstring. That means I’d be tacking on an additional six months to the original recommended time off.. making it sometimes 12-18 months without running.
Uhm. No thanks.
Long story short, because I can’t really remember everything from that clouded moment- No Richmond, No Running, Yes to Physical Therapy and exercises that don’t hurt when I do them- spin, elliptical, swim, yoga.
I sat there on the table as he told me the news listening in silence. I can’t imagine how many times he has to say words like this to someone like me, a runner, an athlete. Or how many times he’s had to be the one to tell his patient that the race they’ve signed up for is not in their plans anymore.
But it sucks, and I don’t envy him. I held it together as he finished talking, I held it together as I walked out and over to the Physical Therapy desk to schedule FIVE appointments between now and December. I held it together as I stepped outside, got into my car and pulled out of the parking lot.
But I couldn’t hold it together any longer when I pulled into our driveway.
I pulled into our garage, shut the door and cried.
After a solid… well it felt like a long time but was probably only three minutes of me crying to myself I woke up and actually said OUT LOUD: “You either let this own you, or you own it.”
And that is where I am.
I am owning it.
I am owning the fact that right now, I can’t run.
I am owning the fact that right now, I had to/have to give up Marine Corps Marathon and Richmond Marathon.
I am owning the fact that right now, I need to put my big girl panties on and find a love for something other than running.
I am owning it.
I am also owning the fact that it sucks, I’m not happy, and I will probably cry a few more times but that is all apart of owning it right?
Let’s share happy thoughts…
What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Mint Chocolate Chip or Cookie Dough
What is/was your workout today?
Are you doing the 28 Day Count Your Blessings Challenge I mentioned yesterday?
More ways to connect with Olive:
Pinterest–> Olive To Run
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Teachers Pay Teachers
Email–> olivetorun (at) gmail (dot) com